I have met him. He is handsome, but it is not blood magic that holds Gavin in thrall. It is sentiment. The fool elf has feelings for the noble. As though anything good can come from that.
[ He pauses, because (1) the discussion about what happened last time Zevran had non-brotherly capital-F Feelings for anyone was recent enough that he isn't willing to make too light of things and (2) he doesn't want Zevran to crawl through the sending crystal and bite him or something, which at the moment seems like a reasonable fear. But he's very brave, so: ]
Well, I wouldn't really know. But I imagine something good does, sometimes, or people wouldn't keep doing it. Not elves and human nobles, maybe, but. Otherwise. There's companionship, and people to notice if you disappear, and maybe some little Zevrans.
Were I to ever be overcome with some manner of madness and decide to start a family, I would not be giving my children knives. You are supposed to want them to have a better life than you did, yes?
And I will always be handling them. Or another House of Assassins. Sentiment means being made vulnerable by caring for someone. I am made vulnerable enough by my connection to you, I will not give the Crows or any one else undue leverage.
Imagine my reluctance to give up one of the few certain, good things in my life for something I can neither trust nor hope to keep!
[ Is he snapping? He's snapping. He doesn't enjoy thinking of Alistair gone- he does not like the idea that anyone is so easily replaced- he does not like speaking of this in the slightest. ]
[ Did his voice crack, raw and wretched around that last word? It did.
He is an assassin, he has no fear of death, no concern for his own- but that it would dare tread in the shadow of someone he has come to look to as family? It is too much. ]
I want the Crows dead, the Taint cured, the world to stop going mad for a decade or two and to retire to a lovely Rivaini beach for the rest of my days. But men such as you and I do not get what we want, Alistair.
We never have. We get what we take- and we are glad for it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 12:56 am (UTC)sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 01:02 am (UTC)And to be fair, nothing good ever seems to come from anything anymore. At all. Ever.
sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 01:05 am (UTC)[ He may or may not be muttering. ]
Nothing good comes from that sort of Sentiment, ever.
sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 01:17 am (UTC)[ He pauses, because (1) the discussion about what happened last time Zevran had non-brotherly capital-F Feelings for anyone was recent enough that he isn't willing to make too light of things and (2) he doesn't want Zevran to crawl through the sending crystal and bite him or something, which at the moment seems like a reasonable fear. But he's very brave, so: ]
Well, I wouldn't really know. But I imagine something good does, sometimes, or people wouldn't keep doing it. Not elves and human nobles, maybe, but. Otherwise. There's companionship, and people to notice if you disappear, and maybe some little Zevrans.
sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 01:22 am (UTC)[ Now this was a turn he did not expect- if only because Alistair and he have an understanding about discussing serious things.
In that they don't.
It's a marvelous understanding. ]
I have you for all that save the making of little Zevrans. I do not need to make 'little zevrans'.
sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 01:30 am (UTC)You don't need to. No one needs to. But it'd be really cute. Their little knives.
sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 01:32 am (UTC)sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 01:38 am (UTC)Toy ones. Wooden. Gifts from me, so you'd be heartless to throw them out.
And the rest of it--even if I'm around for a while, I'm not going to be around forever. And I need time to train my replacement.
sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 02:00 am (UTC)[ Of course, then, he is cut to the quick with that reminder. ]
That is cheating, you bastard.
sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 02:23 am (UTC)It's not cheating if it's true. Come on, Zev. I can't die properly if I'm worrying about you. I'll hang around too long and get all ghouly.
sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 02:27 am (UTC)sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 02:34 am (UTC)sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 02:37 am (UTC)sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 03:05 am (UTC)Maybe I have another brother somewhere.
sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 03:07 am (UTC)sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 03:20 am (UTC)Re: sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 03:27 am (UTC)sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 03:56 am (UTC)sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 03:59 am (UTC)sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 05:05 am (UTC)sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 05:09 am (UTC)It is not something I need, Alistair.
sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 05:41 am (UTC)sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 05:44 am (UTC)[ Is he snapping? He's snapping. He doesn't enjoy thinking of Alistair gone- he does not like the idea that anyone is so easily replaced- he does not like speaking of this in the slightest. ]
sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 06:09 am (UTC)I guess I am thinking more about what I want for you than what you want.
sometime
Date: 2015-12-06 06:13 am (UTC)[ Did his voice crack, raw and wretched around that last word? It did.
He is an assassin, he has no fear of death, no concern for his own- but that it would dare tread in the shadow of someone he has come to look to as family? It is too much. ]
I want the Crows dead, the Taint cured, the world to stop going mad for a decade or two and to retire to a lovely Rivaini beach for the rest of my days. But men such as you and I do not get what we want, Alistair.
We never have. We get what we take- and we are glad for it.
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From:sometime - this is my proudest moment
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