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I am good for:
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Date: 2016-04-14 06:27 am (UTC)
onlyhymns: (Default)
From: [personal profile] onlyhymns
Another shy nod, but this one comes more easily. It's somehow less difficult to admit when discussing it with someone who won't be shocked, who won't judge him for it. He takes the flogger in his hands and feels it, impressed by the smoothness of it.
As he was instructed, he gives it a test swing onto his own thigh, and gives a jump of surprise at the sound it makes. His reaction actually elicits a brief and timidly amused smirk-- he doesn't often laugh at himself, or anything at all, but there's nothing like effectively jumping at his own shadow to put things in perspective.
"I'm used to rope," he quietly admits, carefully handing it back. "..and... knots." Rather than press his hands back against his sides, he folds them in his lap, perhaps an indication of his ever-so-slightly increasing comfort level.

Date: 2016-04-14 06:37 am (UTC)
onlyhymns: (Default)
From: [personal profile] onlyhymns
This one actually hurts when Cade swings it against his leg, enough to cause a little intake of breath. He runs it over his fingers as well, getting a feel for the texture and the weight of it, and as he hands it back to Zevran, his demeanor seems to shift from slightly amused curiosity back to grim and dutiful. He nods. This one.

Date: 2016-04-14 04:21 pm (UTC)
onlyhymns: (Default)
From: [personal profile] onlyhymns
Cade thinks about it, and ends up undecided. Is part of the process not being in pain for a while after? It sounds like cheating, at least to his mind.
"Maybe," he concedes. He'll decide when it's over, but silently resolves to not be so weak.

Date: 2016-04-15 04:48 am (UTC)
onlyhymns: (down)
From: [personal profile] onlyhymns
Cade is frustrated by the rule, but he's not calling the shots here. He nods, a bit grudgingly. "I'll take the potion," he decides, looking at the floor.
It's not like he's never gotten infections before, although in the past it was easier to pass them off as the results of rough sparring.

Date: 2016-04-15 04:58 am (UTC)
onlyhymns: (default)
From: [personal profile] onlyhymns
Cade lifts his head to blink at him, and shakes it uncertainly. "However you think it best," he says, with the same grim resignation as before. Usually he just sits on his bed or the floor, but this is a different beast altogether.

Date: 2016-04-15 05:11 am (UTC)
onlyhymns: (down)
From: [personal profile] onlyhymns
The moment of truth is finally here. Cade hesitates for a second or two longer than he might before following any other direct order, but follow it he does. He unlaces his doublet with shaking hands, rests it over the back of the chair to keep it from wrinkling, then removes his chemise and folds it neatly before setting it on the seat.
He glances uneasily at Zevran, but this part at least he's gotten used to, being that he is supervised even when changing clothes for the night. That's a nightmare in itself, but he has learned to separate himself from it.

Head down, he goes toward the wall and stands there as instructed, staring at a fixed point, arms at his sides in a soldier's posture. From here Zevran can likely see the scars littering his upper back, quite nasty from the looks of them: twisting cuts and former gouges, clearly from times that he either didn't know when to quit or refused.

Date: 2016-04-15 05:22 am (UTC)
onlyhymns: (down)
From: [personal profile] onlyhymns
Cade flinches when he's tapped on the shoulder, but quickly becomes aware of what's happening. He nods as he presses the flats of his hands against the wall, and when prompted, obediently replies, "stop." There's a bit of impatience to the word as well-- his stomach has been twisting itself in knots since he arrived, and now that they're finally on the verge of getting it over with, it seems like Zevran is stalling.
Cade braces himself, willing it to start.

Date: 2016-04-15 05:35 am (UTC)
onlyhymns: (surprised)
From: [personal profile] onlyhymns
Maker, just do it, Cade agonizes, nodding absently when Zevran keeps talking. Of course, he nearly jumps out of his skin the first time he hears the cat whistle through the air to hit nothing, and he looks over his shoulder in frightened bewilderment until he realizes what Zevran is doing. Oh.
...all right.

That prepares him more for the actual contact, though that in itself is enough to take his breath away. This is a very different sensation than when he does it, and for a moment he isn't certain he hasn't just been stabbed, but the lingering burn after the strike (without the telltale trickle of blood or horrible residual pain) betrays the truth.
Apart from the gasp, however, he keeps quiet.

Date: 2016-04-15 05:45 am (UTC)
onlyhymns: (Default)
From: [personal profile] onlyhymns
And here he thought he was tough. The second stroke garners another sudden intake of breath, and the third a yelp, but he holds his position, tears stinging his eyes.

"I'm fine," he says to the wall, his voice a little higher and less certain than before. But he knows what to do to make it stop, and he's not bloody going to.

Date: 2016-04-15 05:54 am (UTC)
onlyhymns: (angry)
From: [personal profile] onlyhymns
The touch on his back causes Cade to flinch again, but then he nods, making sure the motion is clear. He grits his teeth and steels himself-- he can do it, and he will.

Date: 2016-04-15 06:13 am (UTC)
onlyhymns: (Default)
From: [personal profile] onlyhymns
Another faltering cry escapes Cade when Zevran starts up again, but he manages to compose himself at least a little, ducking his head and clenching his jaw as the elf proceeds. Considering how badly he's shaking, it's borderline magnificent that he's able to continue holding the position-- but on the other hand, perhaps he's just that committed.
Cade does what he's told. That's what gives him meaning, and if he were to just not do what he was told, then everything would be even more of a mess than it already is. Making a mess of things is seemingly his only talent beyond obeying.

Each lash stings as much as the first, and periodically, when one hits just right, he yelps or whimpers accordingly. He's aware of it happening, but has to make a mental note to be embarrassed about it later, since he currently has more pressing issues than worrying about preserving his dignity.
This might be the most vocal he's ever been.

Date: 2016-04-15 03:42 pm (UTC)
onlyhymns: (down)
From: [personal profile] onlyhymns
Cade is all right, though less so than he'd like to be. All the same, he wanted punishment, and that's what he's getting, so he's not about to complain or regret a thing.
His eyes are streaming openly now, his breath hitching with the effort it takes to not just break down and weep again, but he also feels strangely warm, not just along his back, but... more or less everywhere. Hazy, fuzzy, and blessedly devoid of the usual tension and worry, like a waking dream. He wants to chase it, even at the expense of further pain.
"More," he feebly suggests.

Date: 2016-04-15 09:39 pm (UTC)
onlyhymns: (smile)
From: [personal profile] onlyhymns
The brief pause gives Cade a moment to come back to himself, but then it begins again, that awful, wonderful warmth creeping into every aspect of his being.
He's still flinching and making the small, distressed noises on impact, but they're more routine now, nothing that he's either trying to prevent or enhance.
His eyes close and his breathing levels out into a rhythm matched to the strokes, his mind falling more easily into that place he nearly had a moment ago. He doesn't care about anything, and for someone who spends every waking moment caring too much about every tiny thing, it's quite a relief. He idly wonders if this is some form of magic, and then decides it doesn't matter.

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Zevran Arainai

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