[ It's weird—and he thinks through a dozen different scenarios, from the room being converted into a sex dungeon to Mia being a closed-door nudist, without coming anywhere close to the right one—but it will work.
And there's probably some coordination required to get Alistair all the way up the path at the same time Zevran and Doghren are in the gardens, but that's boring and I'm skipping it, all the way to the point where Alistair is holding Doghren like an infant and rubbing her belly himself, and looking at Zevran without any hiding a frown that's concerned and a little hurt. ]
[ Part of him aches to say it now, to explain- but standing here in the face of Alistair's disquiet- knowing that doing nothing would cut him deeply, that he would wish to remain, that he would never forgive Zevran if he knew and Zevran sent the child away?
He swallows back the words. ]
It is a delicate matter. But one that I am working through. It will be settled by the end of the month.
If there is an end of the month, [ Alistair says lightly, though maybe a little pointedly, maybe a little bit meant as a reminder that the world is at stake, if not quite so hyperbolically immediate in its potential demise—but that's all. He gives Zevran's face a quick search, in case there's an answer there, which obviously there is not.
He ducks his head down to nuzzle and snuffle under Doghren's chin, probably annoying even her, and sets her back down in the grass. ]
Do you want me to bring you anything? Sand? Rocks? Darkspawn blood?
[ Tell him, his mind supplies, but the rest of him rebels. He cannot bear the weight of his disapproval should he choose to send the boy somewhere safe.
He takes the half step forward to lean against his shoulder, hoping that this contact, that sagging against him and showing he needs this in some way, helps Alistair with what is likely an ache of abandonment. ]
Yourself, whole and unharmed. Or at least mostly unharmed.
[ The leaning does help; it's nothing he put a name to, abandonment, but he is--they're all at risk of dying, and he can't tell how far he's fallen on Zevran's list of priorities without knowing what's wrong. Not asking again is hard. Draping his arm around Zevran's back is easy, though. ]
And if I can't come back, I'll come visit you when all of this is over. Promise.
[ Alistair smiles a toothless smile, the smile of someone who appreciates the sentiment and doesn't doubt the sincerity but also has zero intention, whatever happens, of doing anything to encourage Zevran to leave a place where he seems to be forging real connections with decent people who won't be taking any one-way trips to the Deep Roads for him to insist on going along for. ]
I'll see you, [ he says agreeably, and pats his chest where his crystal is hanging under his shirt. ] Let me know if you decide you want that sand.
[ Something he can give to Kieran, something that can be fashioned into a figure or toy or brooch. The boy was terribly creative and they are now both fathers after a fashion-
Something he cannot say yet. Something he might not say ever. ]
But, truly- you back alive is sufficient. And remember to mind your flank.
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no subject
Date: 2016-05-18 03:40 pm (UTC)[ It's weird—and he thinks through a dozen different scenarios, from the room being converted into a sex dungeon to Mia being a closed-door nudist, without coming anywhere close to the right one—but it will work.
And there's probably some coordination required to get Alistair all the way up the path at the same time Zevran and Doghren are in the gardens, but that's boring and I'm skipping it, all the way to the point where Alistair is holding Doghren like an infant and rubbing her belly himself, and looking at Zevran without any hiding a frown that's concerned and a little hurt. ]
Are you sure?
no subject
Date: 2016-05-19 12:33 am (UTC)[ Part of him aches to say it now, to explain- but standing here in the face of Alistair's disquiet- knowing that doing nothing would cut him deeply, that he would wish to remain, that he would never forgive Zevran if he knew and Zevran sent the child away?
He swallows back the words. ]
It is a delicate matter. But one that I am working through. It will be settled by the end of the month.
no subject
Date: 2016-05-19 01:28 am (UTC)He ducks his head down to nuzzle and snuffle under Doghren's chin, probably annoying even her, and sets her back down in the grass. ]
Do you want me to bring you anything? Sand? Rocks? Darkspawn blood?
no subject
Date: 2016-05-19 01:36 am (UTC)[ Tell him, his mind supplies, but the rest of him rebels. He cannot bear the weight of his disapproval should he choose to send the boy somewhere safe.
He takes the half step forward to lean against his shoulder, hoping that this contact, that sagging against him and showing he needs this in some way, helps Alistair with what is likely an ache of abandonment. ]
Yourself, whole and unharmed. Or at least mostly unharmed.
no subject
Date: 2016-05-19 05:27 am (UTC)[ The leaning does help; it's nothing he put a name to, abandonment, but he is--they're all at risk of dying, and he can't tell how far he's fallen on Zevran's list of priorities without knowing what's wrong. Not asking again is hard. Draping his arm around Zevran's back is easy, though. ]
And if I can't come back, I'll come visit you when all of this is over. Promise.
no subject
Date: 2016-05-19 05:17 pm (UTC)[ Even with the Kestrels. Even with Lucci. ]
We will make it work.
no subject
Date: 2016-05-20 03:21 am (UTC)I'll see you, [ he says agreeably, and pats his chest where his crystal is hanging under his shirt. ] Let me know if you decide you want that sand.
no subject
Date: 2016-05-20 02:42 pm (UTC)[ Something he can give to Kieran, something that can be fashioned into a figure or toy or brooch. The boy was terribly creative and they are now both fathers after a fashion-
Something he cannot say yet. Something he might not say ever. ]
But, truly- you back alive is sufficient. And remember to mind your flank.