[ She stares at her hands, as if literally trying to imagine something she could hold in them. It's alright to just think about it, right? That's why she asked to speak to Zevran. So that she could get the words and the thoughts out there. ]
I wouldn't be able to have those little cakes...The Orlesian ones, you know? I really like those. But I think, even if my clan were in Orlais, I wouldn't be able to get any.
...The arrows here. They're better than what we make in the clan. And there's more of them. I don't have to worry about using too many. Not that I try to use them rashly, but. It's nice to not have to count arrows and worry.
[ She keeps her eyes on her hands as she speaks, voice quiet. ]
The fabric here comes in a lot of different colors, and it's really soft. And there's the dress that Madame Vivienne gave me, and pretty jewelry. And there's plenty of leather to use, if I want.
...And there are jars of bees. Did you know about that? A girl told me about them. She threw one into Twisted Fate's room.
[ She snorts. Being a butthead to Twisted Fate? That's something that she couldn't do in the clan, either. ]
Ah, Sera. She is a delightful little scamp and I think I mean to keep her. Where, exactly, I mean to keep her but I do mean to mind her in the field so she does not get eaten by a dragon or something. I find myself fond.
[ It's hard to not, truly. And yes, jars of bees. Of all the hurled implements that? Is one of the best he's found in the Inquisition. ]
And now think of something a little larger than your hands. The View from the battlements, the work you do. The friends you have made here. Me, of course. I like you Beleth but I am not wandering about the woods and wilds to find you once a month to make certain you're not dead. I hate camping and that would involve a great deal of it.
She's certainly interesting. I'm glad that the two of you are getting along. If just to save you from waking up to bees in your bed.
[ She listens to Zevran, smiling softly by the end. Though she tells herself, if she left tomorrow, people might miss her now, but within a week? A month? By the end of the year, everyone will have moved on, as people do. She has not done anything to leave such a lasting impression. But...she would miss them. ]
I--I need to think about it, still. There's a lot to consider. But--Thank you. I think that you're right. I want to stay here. I don't want to go back.
[ But what she wants isn't enough, has never been enough. ]
But there's a lot to consider, if I stay here. My family, my life. It'd be like just...cutting myself completely off from my past.
I am not so certain of that. She seems to prank people she likes just as much, if not more.
[ So far he's been spared by dint of helping her with the Pranks and being wise to some of her tricks- but the rest? It will likely come back to bite him. He cannot say he minds the idea. It never really hurts, not when it's for fun. ]
You might write your family. You might visit them if they permit it. Your life- it is your own to choose. One way or another- and there is no right or wrong choice. There is only the choice you make. And after that? You learn to live with it.
[ She nods carefully, expression thoughtful. It's hers to choose. So if she chooses to give her life to the Dalish--that's her choice, too. But so is not. So is not abandoning the Dalish, but perhaps--Not going back to her clan. Like a Dalish ambassador, maybe. ]
Thank you, Zevran. I--I still need to think. But. I feel like...I can think about this a little better. I can think about it without feeling guilty for...maybe, not...wanting to go back. It makes it easier to try to figure out what I want, and not just doing what I have to.
[ She looks up at him, expression nervous. ]
Don't tell the others, please. I--I've given so many of them a hard time, I can't bare to think how they'll respond. I don't want to deal with it until I'm absolutely certain that I know what decision I'm going to make.
You have until we save the world. Then, I think, you should probably choose what it is you wish to do. But seeing as this will likely take some time- the Blight, after all, took a year and some to be ended in Fereldan and this is a larger, stranger conflict still- you have awhile. There is no rush.
[ He finishes the simple meal she brought for him, washing it down with a sip of something sweet and alcoholic from his flask before he passes it to her. Spiced mead. An excellent way to spend the night. ]
It is not mine to say and thus, not something I mean to share. Do not worry about what they would think, Beleth. Worry about yourself for a change. They are your family and they will either support you in this or make asses of themselves.
[ She accepts the flask with a grateful nod, taking a deep sip of it--pausing for a moment and shaking her head at the sudden rush of alcohol. Then she takes another, and passes it back to Zevran. ]
Thank you. And don't worry, I am thinking of myself. I have no desire to be lectured by them, even if I deserve it, after I took a turn making an ass of myself. I want to avoid it for as long as possible. That's not even getting into the lecture I'd get from my mother. Maybe I could just fake my own death.
Something really impressive. Saving an entire orphanage from a blight troll with nothing but my bow and arrow. While it was on fire. That would be pretty impressive.
Killed by an Antivan Crow. I could arrange something, if you like- though I think perhaps it is better that she knows you have chosen your own path. While she might not understand- she could learn to respect it. Or I can have pointed words with her later.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I wouldn't be able to have those little cakes...The Orlesian ones, you know? I really like those. But I think, even if my clan were in Orlais, I wouldn't be able to get any.
no subject
[ Sometimes it does not boil down to the large questions of duty and honor and obligation.
Sometimes it is something small and simple. Like cakes, or shoes, or the freedom to sleep where you like without question or being bothered. ]
no subject
[ She keeps her eyes on her hands as she speaks, voice quiet. ]
The fabric here comes in a lot of different colors, and it's really soft. And there's the dress that Madame Vivienne gave me, and pretty jewelry. And there's plenty of leather to use, if I want.
...And there are jars of bees. Did you know about that? A girl told me about them. She threw one into Twisted Fate's room.
[ She snorts. Being a butthead to Twisted Fate? That's something that she couldn't do in the clan, either. ]
no subject
[ It's hard to not, truly. And yes, jars of bees. Of all the hurled implements that? Is one of the best he's found in the Inquisition. ]
And now think of something a little larger than your hands. The View from the battlements, the work you do. The friends you have made here. Me, of course. I like you Beleth but I am not wandering about the woods and wilds to find you once a month to make certain you're not dead. I hate camping and that would involve a great deal of it.
no subject
[ She listens to Zevran, smiling softly by the end. Though she tells herself, if she left tomorrow, people might miss her now, but within a week? A month? By the end of the year, everyone will have moved on, as people do. She has not done anything to leave such a lasting impression. But...she would miss them. ]
I--I need to think about it, still. There's a lot to consider. But--Thank you. I think that you're right. I want to stay here. I don't want to go back.
[ But what she wants isn't enough, has never been enough. ]
But there's a lot to consider, if I stay here. My family, my life. It'd be like just...cutting myself completely off from my past.
no subject
[ So far he's been spared by dint of helping her with the Pranks and being wise to some of her tricks- but the rest? It will likely come back to bite him. He cannot say he minds the idea. It never really hurts, not when it's for fun. ]
You might write your family. You might visit them if they permit it. Your life- it is your own to choose. One way or another- and there is no right or wrong choice. There is only the choice you make. And after that? You learn to live with it.
no subject
Thank you, Zevran. I--I still need to think. But. I feel like...I can think about this a little better. I can think about it without feeling guilty for...maybe, not...wanting to go back. It makes it easier to try to figure out what I want, and not just doing what I have to.
[ She looks up at him, expression nervous. ]
Don't tell the others, please. I--I've given so many of them a hard time, I can't bare to think how they'll respond. I don't want to deal with it until I'm absolutely certain that I know what decision I'm going to make.
no subject
[ He finishes the simple meal she brought for him, washing it down with a sip of something sweet and alcoholic from his flask before he passes it to her. Spiced mead. An excellent way to spend the night. ]
It is not mine to say and thus, not something I mean to share. Do not worry about what they would think, Beleth. Worry about yourself for a change. They are your family and they will either support you in this or make asses of themselves.
no subject
Thank you. And don't worry, I am thinking of myself. I have no desire to be lectured by them, even if I deserve it, after I took a turn making an ass of myself. I want to avoid it for as long as possible. That's not even getting into the lecture I'd get from my mother. Maybe I could just fake my own death.
Something really impressive. Saving an entire orphanage from a blight troll with nothing but my bow and arrow. While it was on fire. That would be pretty impressive.
no subject